by Marian on February 14, 2010
Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about what I want. Not material things, although I will admit that I’ve bought three pairs of pants this week. (To be fair, I don’t own any, and it is COLD here!) When I say what I want, I mean what I want from my future. Or rather, what I want and expect from myself in the future.
This is a list that is probably going to change a lot in the future. I’m positive that my list looked nothing like this my freshman year, or last year, or two weeks ago, but right now, this is what my list looks like. And I think that considering how fluid life can be, knowing what I want now is the best I can do.
I want…
…to make the world a more peaceful place.
…to inspire others, as cheesy as it sounds.
…to have someone look at me the way I have looked at my teachers.
…to help people one by one, individually, with investment and sincerity, to become people they will be happy to see in the mirror each morning.
…to say, do, buy, wear, eat, make, discuss, promote, and enjoy things that I believe in.
…to be in love and to cherish it.
This is a lot more navel-gazing than I usually post here–and I post a lot of navel-gazing!!–but this is on my mind a lot right now. I’m very lucky to have been accepted to my dream college. I mean that in two ways: it was both my first choice school and a school that inspires me to dream about possibilities. I’m thinking a lot about the person that I want to be there, and what the next 4 years of my life are going to be like. (What? Senior-year angst? No way!)
by Marian on February 2, 2010
An update on the situation at school:
- Scenes were performed tonight, and so far as I know they went off without a hitch.
- Students did NOT end up selling t-shirts OR putting CENSORED posters up on the walls.
People seem to have calmed down a lot–which is good, in my opinion. I’m hoping that something positive can come out of this–clearer parameters for censorship of these student scenes, for starters. Maybe even clearer parameters for censorship in general, if we dream big. I still think one of the big unanswered questions is that of the double standard between faculty-directed and student-directed shows. If faculty can use the f-word and give a thorough treatment of sexual themes, why are students not permitted to even begin in that direction?
But, I’m getting away from what I meant to post.
It takes a LOT to get me to change my mind. I am a very stubborn person. The end.
BUT, so much of my feeling on this issue was based on what directors told me would be happening. Since things didn’t go as they originally said… I’ve changed my mind.
Okay, not that earth-shattering, I know. But it’s hard for me to say, “Okay. I take that back.”
I submitted the following to our school newspaper. (They had previously gotten a snippet of my previous post.)
I was prompted to write the piece because members of the directing class told me their intent to voice their discontent with the censorship in a certain manner. (ie posters on the walls, selling tshirts, etc.) However, in between my writing the opinion and the scenes going up tonight, the directors changed my mind, and this was not how the situation was handled in the end. Since my letter was based largely on their planned actions—and not on the censorship itself—my opinion on the matter has changed somewhat. I’m very glad that they changed their minds about it. I think handling the situation as calmly as possible is the best way to start a conversation with the administration about boundaries. After all– part of the problem was the lack of clear guidelines regarding censorship.
What’s important here is that students and administrators are able to work together and create a clear procedure for censorship of events such as Student Directed Scenes. The late notification that the director received—as well as the double-standard between her production and “A Bad Spell,” which contained the line “I fucked her”–is not acceptable. Sexual themes and coarse language are either appropriate in our community or not; if faculty-directed productions are permitted to explore those themes, then censoring them from student productions is hypocritical. I still believe that it reflects poorly on this school that positive, healthy sexuality is taboo, while rape and abuse are still considered acceptable to present on stage. We need role models and aspirations—not just cautionary tales. I think the most important thing for the Choate community is to respond to this issue, no matter who you are or how you spend your free time. Censorship doesn’t just happen on stage, and it doesn’t affect only the actors and directors. Choaties need to be aware of the implications of censorship, even in cases as mild as this one. This is not the end of the world—and it should not be treated as such. But it still does merit thoughtful consideration.
Anyways. I would stand by my other opinion, if the facts are right. But since more recent developments have made it irrelevant, I would ask that the News either print some portion of what I’ve included above, or nothing at all. I hope not to see any portion of the old comments in this week’s edition.
I have to say–now that things seem to have cooled down a little, I’m interested to see where the directing class is able to take this conversation. Hopefully, a positive precedent will be able to come of it somehow!
by Marian on January 31, 2010
Right now, kids at my school are up in arms over an issue of censorship. It’s raising all sorts of conflicting emotions for me–because for once, I don’t agree with them.
Let’s lay out the facts:
•Days before the premiere of this year’s Student Directed Scenes were slated to go up, a girl was informed that her scene would be censored. Dialogue seen as objectionable would be changed. In particular, she had to change the words “do it” to “go”–as in, “Do you want to go again?” instead of “Do you want to do it again?”
•An uncensored, uncut version of the original script had been brought to the attention of the dean of students. Though this was not the version to be performed, it flagged his attention. The person responsible for bringing this inaccurate script to his attention and forcing the issue isn’t public knowledge.
•Because we are students at an independent school, the school has the right to censor student productions in whatever aspect they believe is appropriate.
•Other scenes this year will deal with themes of rape and spousal abuse in more graphic terms than this scene dealt with positive, consensual sexuality. Those other scenes were not censored.
Sexuality appears to be the hot issue for censorship at our school. It is also an extremely hypocritical one. A faculty-directed production this weekend was permitted to have the line “I fucked her.” The fall production of Arabian Nights was extremely suggestive and showed a great deal of one student’s body. The one-scene preview shown for the student body was the most sexual and suggestive in the entire play. It kept close to the old adage “sex sells,” and it certainly worked in that case. Ticket sales, unfortunately, seem to come first right now.
So, to review: double standard between faculty-and student-directed pieces, censorship of positive but not negative sexuality, unacceptably-late notice, and concern with material that was never intended to be performed for the student body. This all sounds kind of bad.
So why aren’t I on their side? I’m young, I’m liberal, I’m angsty. This should be just the ticket for me. But all of those things are exactly why I refuse to let this ignite my fuse.
I disagree with the approach that the students have taken in response to the censorship. They are selling t-shirts with the word CENSORED in block print on the chest to “show support for the cause.” Before the scene is performed, the actors plan to make an announcement about its censorship, and posters will be put up all over the walls saying CENSORED. The students’ choices demean them and make their objections appear more puerile and undignified than they really are. I understand that this is a matter of ideals; although only a few lines were substantially changed, the idea that positive sexuality is unacceptable onstage while rape is “good theater” poses a serious ethical challenge. But any attempt to speak truth to power must be conducted in a dignified and mature manner–or it will count for nothing.
Furthermore, presenting this case of relatively-mild censorship as “a cause” is offensive. “Cause” implies an order of magnitude that isn’t at work here. The community affected here is small and contained. Though it’s censorship, it’s not of an expressly-malicious nature. What about government censorship? What about censorship of the press, of political speech? That is censorship to worry about. It’s important to make the distinction between real oppression and imagined or desired oppression. While it is empowering to rage at the “administration” about their “unacceptable” actions, this is unproductive and trivializes what could be a high-minded debate about the nature of censorship, the perceptions of sexuality in school theater, and the “reach” of department heads with regard to what happens in individual classes. Additionally, there is nothing to stop the students involved from performing the scene elsewhere, at a different time, uncensored. (In fact, there are plans to do so.) In other words: only these two performances are censored. They can still do it at another time exactly as they want to. While this is censorship, it is mild. I urge everyone to maintain some perspective on this issue as they move forwards.
Basically?
Righteous indignation is only appropriate in cases where you are undeniably righteous. Otherwise, you make a mockery of those ideals for everyone else who subscribes to them. It hurts the credibility of everyone who believes in free speech to fight this mild censorship in this manner.
by Marian on January 28, 2010
I’m the co-Editor for my school’s literary magazine, and right now we’re running a “bad romance” contest in honor of Valentine’s Day. (Basically, an excuse to write awesomely terrible love poems.) There were a lot of promising ones–in fact, too many for the small amount of space we have!
This was my contribution. It had the votes needed to appear, but I’d rather give the space to another writer…
I want to hold you close to my body
like eskimos huddling
in our love-igloo
where we shacked up
to listen to the B-52s,
baby.
(Oh god! Oh me! Oh Venus!
Your heartbeat!
My penis!)
I look into your eyes
and am lost.
I wanna hold your hand.
(Alas, the frostbite took it
years ago.)
It’s silly and stupid and cliché… and it was INCREDIBLY fun to write. My advice to all of you is to write your own “bad romance” poem. See how many stupid adolescent crutches you can put in. Laugh, and then go play outside in the snow.
by Marian on January 21, 2010
I wrote this a while ago while walking to French class on a snowy day. I was feeling silly, and hopefully this reflects that?
While on my way to french
I decided to take the shortcut across the grass.
Many hurried feet had
cut through the top of the snow
and the start of the path was dark with clay.
As it approached the building,
the clay faded until there was nothing left
but pocked ice.
I want to believe that this is a metaphor for life,
that goals are clear
and the ways to them are murky,
that we can “accomplisse” things,
but when I sat down to write it all down to you,
all that emerged
was a small “I love you”
and a drawing of Nick Jonas.
